Naked (And Not So Naked) Clams

In 1486 Sandro Botticelli paints The Birth of Venus as the goddess emerges from the sea fully formed and feminized, blown to shore by personified wind and her attendants in a giant scallop shell. Venus’ flowing blonde hair allows her to retain some modesty, but she doesn’t really need to: as the perpetually dissatisfied in marriage goddess of sexual excess, her sex appeal is at the foreground of both the painting and of the viewer’s mind. Throughout classical mythology, Venus makes a career out of her own sexual desire and in increasing and fulfilling the sexual desires of gods and humans. Botticelli’s Venus is a woman confident in her sex appeal, looking away from the viewer, but shifting her body into a come hither stance. Venus invites you to her world of sexual excess, but she also wants to make the consequences of your patronage all your own fault.

Botticelli’s depiction of the miraculous creation of the goddess, who was formed from the castrated genitals of supreme sky god Caelus, as sea water intermingled with blood, flesh, and semen in the Aegean Sea, has her emerge from her birthplace nude and suggests that her unabashed nudity, unapologetic glace, and seductive tenderness are evocative of the nudity, ataraxia, and tenderness of a giant scallop. The point is this: at least since the time of Botticelli, bivalves have been super sexy, because bivalves is as natural, naked, bewitching, and supple as a Venus herself.

Modern research has suggested that the lore behind bivlalves may have a measurable basis: apparently oysters, clams, mussels, and scallops are rich in rare amino acids that trigger sex hormone production. Casanova wrote that he seduced a virgin by slipping a raw oyster from between her lips to his, and he feasted on 50 of them every morning in order to upkeep his legendary stamina. Amino acids and Casanova aside, raw oysters are the best food source for zinc, an important mineral for immune system function and cell repair, but also for raising testosterone levels. All bivalves are super sources of all buzz-worthy nutrients, like vitamin B12, omega-3 fats, and vitamin D. Also worth noting are their status as sources of highly digestible complete protein, iron, copper, calcium, sodium, phosphorus, and selenium. 

But wait, this is my favorite part:  foraging clams is actually super fun and strangely life-affirming. No special equipment is required to collect enough clams for a meal for 2-4 people. A good clam flat and some diligent footwork should give you a fine mess of clams. While you walk in your clam flat, you can experience the soothing effect of water, nature, and your surroundings, taking a break from your real life in order to experience the nature of your dinner. In fact, mindfulness of the origin of your dinner should make your dinner all that much more enjoyable.

Clams are quiet: they grow under the dirt, diligently and silently until along you come and take it home with you. Especially in a society where we are mostly loud and mostly disconnected from our food sources, the magic of clamming is even more apparent. Clams seem to arise magically and spontaneously from natural forces, almost like Venus herself. Perhaps this providence of the sea was Botticelli's inspiration. Go alone or bring your friends, kids, and loved ones to get aquatinted with the idyllicism of clamming. 

You could also just skip all of this, buy your clams, and meet me back at the recipe below.  

100 grams of cooked clams contain 1648% of your recommended daily required of vitamin B12 and 155% of your recommended daily requirement of iron, in addition to the nutritional benefits already listed above and many more. Omega 3s are supposed to make you skinny, smart, and happy, so eat up (even though oysters are a better source than clams, still eat up!). Bivalves are delicious and eating them can be a sensual experience: they taste like the sea, and their slippery, slimy texture can lend itself to the imagination. My point culminates in this list of  people who can benefit from eating clams: Boticelli, Casanova, anemic people, pregnant people, children, grown ups, young people, old people, people who want to improve their cholesterol profiles, people who want to increase their sexual performance, people who are already happy with their sexual performance, people who want to lose weight, people who are happy, people who are sad, people who like people, people who like dogs, me, and you.

So let’s go clamming:

In order to locate a clam flat, contact your local clam conservation commission or the appropriate local authories. They will have information about any necessary permiting requirements and information about clam flats closed due to pollution. Clams are bottom feeders and can act as filters in polluted water. The good news is that the Environmental Protection Agency lists clams and all bivalves as low in contaminants when compared to other edible sea-dwelling creatures. The bad news in the when foraging your own clam flat, it is important to check with local authorities about pollution (if any) in order to ensure maximum taste and health benefits, with as few as possible environmental pollutants.

Either side of low tide will give you the best clamming experience. As you walk into the water, check for holes in the sand. Clams make their homes by digging into the sand with their foot. As they need access to clean water to breathe and nourish themselves, they create a hole above their burrow with their siphon. Once you have located one of these holes, dig underneath it with your hands, feet, or hoe. Larger clams have a tougher bite to them and a greater salt brine taste, and smaller clams are more tender. All clams are good for steaming and a variety of clams is fun to sample. If visibility is low in the water, simply walk gently allowing your feet to sink into the sand, and dig up any hard item that your foot touches. Sometimes you will get a stone and sometimes you will get a clam. With this method, you should be able to easily harvest a few pounds worth of the bivalve. Avoid all broken clams, clams that smell “off,” and clams that are not tightly closed. When you finish clamming, take a bucket of sea water with you.

Once you have brought your mess home, wash off the superficial dirt. Find a large, clean container, and place your sea water and clams inside. Water from the sink will kill your clams. Many chefs and home cooks like adding corn meal to the clam soaking water, but in my experience, I have found that this is just another clam legend. Allow your clams to soak in their sea water for between 1 and 24 hours inside the fridge. Clams swallow sand and dirt as they burrow. By allowing them to soak, the clams will spit up any sand and dirt that they have inside: a mouthful of sand either at the beach or at the dinner table is no fun for anyone.  It is necessary to refrigerate your clams at around 35 degrees Fahrenheit, because, if the clams get too warm, they will die and they will be unfit for consumption. If you have purchased your clams, they are likely to be farmed and already clean on the inside. You can skip soaking them and go straight to cooking and eating them when you get home.

Naked Steamed Clams

Olive oil or butter

Stock, Wine, Beer, or a Combination 

Clams

The basic art of cooking clams is this: add a few tablespoons of fat and of your flavorful watery liquid to two inches from the bottom of a pot big enough to hold your clams. Heat the liquid to boiling, and then reduce the flame to medium heat. Add your clams. If your clams are of varying sizes, shake the pot every four minutes and take out cooked clams, while allowing uncooking clams to steam open. Smaller clams with cook faster than larger clams. If your clams are all the same size,  shake the pot every four minutes in order to move them around and heat them evenly, until all the clams are cooked and open. After all clams are cooked, return them all to the pot and serve immediately. 

Garlic, Kale, and White Wine Steamed Clams

(Serves 4)

4 tbsp butter

4 garlic cloves, chopped

2 shallots, sliced

2 cups dry white wine

1 bunch kale, torn into tiny bite size pieces

½ cup chopped basil, parsley, and oregano

Optional: hot red pepper flakes for lovers of spicy foods

In a pot big enough to hold all of your clams and to allow them all to open, heat your butter, garlic, and shallots over a medium flame, until the garlic and shallots are soft and fragrant. Add your wine and bring the liquid to a boil. Reduce the flame and add your kale and clams. Cook according to the method mentioned above: smaller clams will cook faster than larger clams. Remove them and allow larger clams to cook longer, until all clams are ready. Add your herbs, red pepper flakes, and some extra olive oil or butter (this will give your home-cooked clams a better sheen on the plate, but it is not necessary for taste). Serve immediately with pasta, toasted bread, or any grain side dish that will help you soak up the clam broth.